Sunday, January 30, 2011

Extry! Extry! "Newsie" Christian Bale Turns 37!

Dear Christian Bale,
What a wonderful way to celebrate your birthday tonight with a SAG award for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role for your part in “The Fighter.” (I know my daughter Stacy, a member of the Screen Actors Guild voted for you…I made sure of it!)
Now you’re a big, high and mighty movie star. However, I will not let you forget “Newsies!”  In an interview about your work on that 1992 Disney “flop” you said: “You say something bad about Newsies, and you have an awful lot of people to answer to.” That’s right! I realize Disney lost money on that film about the NYC paper boy strike of 1899, but my kids loved it! (I’m sure Disney made up for the loss by raising ticket prices to their theme parks!) My kids watched Newsies so many times, they could sing along with all the song lyrics. I will not let you forget Newsies!
Also you’re now known for your infamous rant on the set of “Terminator Salvation,” and you claim you were “in character.” (whatever!) Wouldn’t you rather be best known for your Newsies role as Frank “Cowboy” Kelly, saying great lines like:  “Well, dat’s da foist thing ya gotta learn…headlines don’t sell papes. Newsies sell papes.” Don’t you still want to hang out with characters like: Racetrack, Spot, Crutchy, Boots, Mush and Blink? And my favorite…your hair flips throughout the film. There was no one better at it than you!
No, Chris…may I call you Chris? Well, I’m going to anyway. Please, never forget “Newsies” and have a wonderful evening celebrating your 37th birthday and your SAG win too. Remember Newsies sell papes, but Mrs Love won’t let you forget Newsies!
Regards, Mrs Love

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Happy 71st Birthday Katharine Ross!

Jan. 29, 2011
Dear Katharine Ross,
Although God has told us, “Thou shalt not covet,” I will tell you I’m not saint. These are the things I covet about you:
You’ve lived in Malibu since the 60’s.
You had Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) screaming in the church window, “Elaine! Elaine!”in “The Graduate.”
You got to ride a bicycle with Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) and sleep with The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford).
You played my favorite Louis L’Amour character, Mrs Evie Teale in “Conagher,” opposite your husband Sam Elliot, who comes to save you as you battle the Indians in the wild frontier.
You’re married to Sam Elliot, who I fell in love with first! He portrayed the hunky, old lifeguard in “Lifeguard.” (Ok, I must admit, you two make a great couple!)
You were absolutely perfect in “The Stepford Wives”…after all, that was the premise of the movie!
Finally, you are beautiful and have remained beautiful after all these years.
Ok, I’ll repent and not covet you so much! Have a wonderful 71st Birthday!
Mrs Love

Friday, January 28, 2011

Happy Birthday Elijah Wood!

Jan. 28, 2011
Dear Elijah Wood,
Yes, I know you’re most famous for your role as Frodo Baggins, in “The Lord of the Rings Trilogy”. However, my favorite of your films was the drama/fantasy, “Radio Flyer”. You were little and cute, with those big blue eyes of yours. You portrayed a boy named Mikey, who, along with his little brother Bobby, live in a chaotic family environment. You and your little brother transform an ordinary red wagon into a fantastic flying machine. And one day Bobby actually takes off in it and flies away!

This makes me think of a young man I know named Darren, who, for many years has been building a helicopter in his backyard. I think of the movie “Radio Flyer” and wonder if one day Darren will surprise us all and take off flying in his helicopter! Sometimes dreams actually do come true.

One more thing, I saw you the other night on TMZ. You were smoking! C’mon Elijah, I don’t think hobbits should smoke…or anyone for that matter! Kick the habit today and enjoy your 30th Birthday! I want to see you around for a long, long time and I don’t want anything to dull those big blue eyes.
Regards, Mrs Love

Thursday, January 27, 2011

That'll Do James Cromwell! That'll do!

Jan. 27, 2011
Dear James Cromwell,
Last year I saw you sitting courtside at a Lakers basketball game. Although I was quite a distance from you, I was tempted to run up to you and say, “That’ll do Pig. That’ll do!” And then I remembered a story my daughter told me about you. For a split second I thought about running up to you to tell you how much that story inspired my daughter. But, I decided to leave you alone to enjoy the game.
Many years ago you spoke at the California State Thespian Festival at Claremont Colleges. You shared a touching, personal story that inspired my daughter, who was working at the festival. You said that as you began your acting career, you struggled, not getting the best roles, and not making very much money. Although your parents were both involved in the entertainment industry, you still had to work hard, hoping for that ‘big break.’ At times you felt like you didn’t measure up to your father’s expectations. He knew that you struggled.
Raised in New York, your father called you “Jamie.” He passed away before he was able to see what you achieved as a successful character actor, but you always wondered if he was proud of you.  In 1995 you portrayed Farmer Hoggett in the surprise runaway hit, “Babe.” As you said the famous line: “That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do” you could somehow see your father looking down at you and could almost hear him saying: “That’ll do, Jamie. That’ll do.” You even received an Oscar nomination for that film! You knew your father was proud of you.
Happy 71st Birthday and here’s to many more!
Regards, Mrs Love

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Happy Birthday Eddie Van Halen!

Jan. 26, 2011
Dear Eddie Van Halen,
I have been your loyal fan for 3 decades! A friend of mind from Pasadena had an older sister who used to watch you play backyard parties in the mid 70’s. You would draw huge crowds and almost always the police were called. That’s why I bought your first album. I had to know who Van Halen was. And I was hooked! I must have listened to your first album a million times! My favorite: “Eruption” of course. You said that was originally how you would do your warm-ups. It was amazing. I’d never seen or heard anyone play like that before!
I’m glad you were able to get clean and sober, and cograts on your new marriage. So Eddie, why not call the original guys back and go on tour? How about a new album? You shredding, and Dave screaming…how awesome would that be! I know your son Wolfie is now your bass player, but why not bring Michael Anthony back? Please?
Loved your guitar solo on Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.” So happy that more people today get a chance to hear your music as they play along with Van Halen on “Guitar Hero.” Can’t wait to see what you do next! Happy 56th Birthday! And remember no brown M&M’s!
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Happy Birthday Mrs. Beatz...aka Alicia Keys!

Jan. 25, 2011
Dear Alicia Augello Cook,
I know you’re a big music artist and very talented, however I’m not that familiar with your music. The reason is, you’re not on the classic rock & roll radio stations I listen to. And mostly I think of you as that singer who really loves eye shadow.
I remember the first time I heard your name. I attended the American Music Awards years ago with my daughter & you received a “Best New Artist” award. (We were rooting for John Mayer.) You were just beginning your music career then. Now you’ve sold millions of records and won numerous awards. And you’re married to a man named Swizz Beatz (really? Your name is now Alicia Beatz?)
Congratulations on the birth of your new son in October. I heard you named him “Egypt.” Now Alicia, may I ask you a personal question? No? Well, I’m asking anyway. Why Egypt? Was that where he was conceived? I have wondered about the Beckham's son Brooklyn as well. Perhaps this is a trend.
Happy 31st Birthday Alicia Keys!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, January 24, 2011

Happy Birthday John Belushi

Jan. 24, 2011
Dear John Belushi,
I was a loyal fan when you portrayed characters like SNL’s “Samurai Warrior,” Animal House’s, “Bluto,” Blue’s Brothers’, “Joliet Jake Blues.” In 1982 I was on a volunteer mission in Spain. One day in March 1982, I was visiting the US Naval base in Rota. My friend Thais and I walked into the library on the base. There, we walked up to a magazine rack and saw the latest issue of People magazine. The cover said that you had recently passed away. We were shocked!
In Spain, an old tradition is to dress in black to signify one is “in mourning.” They say one is “de luto.” So my friend Thais and I, being your loyal fans, decided to follow that tradition for one entire day. We dressed in black to signify we were mourning your death. Now, John, like you, my friend Thais returned to her heavenly home and I’m certain that you were one of the first people in heaven she looked up.
Each time I’m in LA and drive down the Sunset strip, I look up at the Chateau Marmont, where you life was sadly cut short, and think of you and smile. A memorial headstone for you in Illinois reads: “He gave us laughter.” And you surely did.
Cheeseburga, cheeseburga, pepsi, pepsi!
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Happy Birthday MacGyver & Richard Dean Anderson!

Jan. 23, 2011
Dear Richard Dean Anderson,
According to my sources (die-hard MacGyver fans) you share the same birthday as your alter-ego MacGyver, and you’re just a year apart. I’ve admired you since you portrayed Dr. Jeff Webber on General Hospital. And I enjoyed the 7 years that you portrayed the resourceful secret agent, Angus MacGyver. I learned so much from you. Whenever I’m trying to fix something around the house, I think, “Now what would MacGyver do?” You taught me to always carry a paper clip, ball-point pen, a gum wrapper, a shoe lace, duct tape and a Swiss army knife. I never know when I’m going to have to get myself out of tight spot, like you did. Sadly, though, you’ve also taught me to be a bit of a pack rat. I’ll pick up something and say, “You never know when you’re going to need that!” (ok, I’m not a ‘hoarder’ though!)
Richard, why don’t you wear the mullet again? Only you could carry off that look and still look cool!
Happy 61st to you and Happy 60th to MacGyver!
Regards, Mrs Love

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Diane Lane!

Jan. 22, 2011
Dear Diane Lane,
I think you’re one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. I’m so glad that you haven’t had plastic surgery yet. You say you haven’t ruled it out completely, but that you’re afraid of it. Please! Continue to be afraid of it! You don’t need it!
Once you said, “Americans are like Pac Man. We just eat our way through the day. There’s always something going into the mouth.” Well, I wonder what kind of food you’re eating, because you look wonderful! When “Nights of Rodanthe” was in theaters, a friend of mine said: “Diane Lane
sure knows how to fill out a sweater.” Well, Diane, so do I, but in all the wrong places!
I loved you in “The Outsiders” as Cherry Valance, although my favorite of your films is “Under the Tuscan Sun.” It has inspired me to run away to Spain (because I lived there many years ago) and buy a villa! Just kidding! I’d bring my husband and our dog along, of course!
Give me a call sometime, Diane and let’s hang out with your mother-in-law Barbra!
Happy 45th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Friday, January 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Geena Davis!

Jan. 21, 2011
Dear Geena Davis,
I’m sorry, but as I look at your name, I want to say: G-eena, with the G sounding like “G” as in Good, rather than “J” as in Joy. (same thing with Ginnifer Goodwin!)

My daughter worked with you on Commander-in-Chief. (the episode never aired, because the show was sadly cancelled) She said you were “one cool lady.” You guys were filming at Cal State Northridge. You were done filming a scene at one location, then ready to move to another location on campus. You were wearing a beautiful business suit and skirt. After all, you portrayed the President of the United States. You took your heels off, slipped on some comfy slippers, then hopped on your razor scooter and took off to the next location. Off you went, scooting around Cal State Northridge!
I have enjoyed so many of your films. In honor of your birthday, today I will watch Accidental Tourist, Tootsie, Beetlejuice, A League of Their Own, and of course Thelma & Louise! (who was that hunky guy you hooked up with? Oh yeah, that was a young Brad Pitt! Lucky!) I better get started on those movies! After all, there are only a few more hours left in the day!
“Drive, Louise! Drive the car! Go! Go! Go go go go go go!”
Happy 55th Birthday, Virginia Elizabeth Davis!
Regards, Mrs Love

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Happy Birthday Rainn Wilson!

Jan 20, 2011
Dear Rainn Wilson,
Years ago I spoke to your friend Frank about an acting coach job for my daughter. He wasn’t available at the time, so he gave me your number. Quite honestly, as he spelled out your name, R-A-I-N-N Wilson, I thought you were a girl. (I was thinking of Rain Pryor.) Anyway, we got busy & never gave you a call, but I kept the note. Then, in 2005, my family started watching a new show called “The Office.” And there was that name! Rainn Wilson! I found the note with your name & number, and it was you! And you’re not a girl! Instead, you portray one of the funniest characters on television.
“I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.” –Dwight Schrute
You have said about working on The Office: “The great challenge is wearing polyester all day long and having the worst haircut known to man at the top of my head and sitting under fluorescent lights. That is America, people. Polyester, bad haircuts, under fluorescent light.”
Keep us laughing and don’t worry, I won’t call you, but I will always keep that note! Happy 45th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Happy Birthday Janis Joplin--Today you would be 68!

Dear Janis Joplin,
I was in 6th grade and it was 1971. I was at a slumber party at my friend Susan’s house. We were in her bedroom listening to records like: Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles and your “Pearl” album, which was released after your death. I thought you were so cool and in many ways you reminded me of my friend Susan’s older sister. She had just returned home after being ‘on the road’ (running away), however she wasn’t around that night, so we decided to sneak into her bedroom. It was decorated with beaded curtains, tie-dye, psychedelic artwork & posters of rock musicians. Susan asked if we wanted to see something really cool. Of course we did! Underneath her sister’s bed was an old cigar box. Inside we saw a package of ZigZag rolling papers and a baggie of some smelly greenish stuff. I had never smelled anything like it. (of course now I get a whiff of it at rock concerts!) Susan said, “My sister says she can only smoke a ‘special’ kind of tobacco and so she rolls her own cigarettes.” Wow, she was soooo cool! She wore love beads, tons of bracelets and necklaces just like you—and even rolled her own ‘special’ cigarettes!

Aside from the booze and drugs, Janis, I think we would’ve been great friends. You seem like a girl who was lots of fun. In 1968 it was said that you “slink like tar and scowl like war.” I wonder what you would think of music today. You influenced many music artists. Today you would’ve been 68, but you’ll always be 27 to me. Thank you for you unique music and style that impressed a little kid in the 70’s.

“Won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?”
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Happy Birthday Kevin Costner!

Dear Kevin Costner,
In the early 90’s your parents lived in Corona, not far from our first home. One year on Thanksgiving my kids and I drove past your parent’s house. Did you see us?  It was me and 3 little kids in a blue Camry. You were in the front yard tossing a football with your kids. My first thought was to run up and hug you and ask for an autograph. Then I remembered it was a holiday and you were spending time with your family, which was much more important. After all, what did you say in Field of Dreams? “Hey, Dad, you want to have a catch?” So we didn’t interrupt. You are welcome! However, I hope you weren’t alarmed as we drove down the street screaming at the top of our lungs after seeing you! Maybe I’ll see you at an upcoming Cal State Fullerton baseball game. I’ll try not to bug you, although I can’t promise anything this time! After all, “If you build it, Mrs Love will come!”
Happy 56th Birthday, Kevin Costner!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, January 17, 2011

Happy Birthday Betty White! 89 years young!

Dear Betty White,
I saw an article where you top the list of the “Top 100 Celebrities People Want to Go to Lunch With” (note: Tiger Woods has been removed from that list). I personally admire you because when I’m your age, I want to be like you—your attitude, your wit, your beauty (no plastic surgery? Bravo!). Last year just after celebrating your birthday, you said: “I was only 88 last Sun, so I have lots more stuff to do.” And look at you! Last year you hosted SNL, starred in movies, tv shows, and even showed up on one of the funniest Super Bowl commercials:
“You’re playing like Betty White out there!” and you said, “That’s not what your girlfriend says!” Loved it!
I think I love you so much because you are the anti-stereotype “little old lady” and that’s what I want to be. Hey, let’s go to lunch sometime! Happy 89th Birthday Betty White!
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Happy Birthday Kate Moss!

Dear Kate Moss,
I always figured you do drugs, so when pictures surfaced of you doing cocaine in 2005, I was not surprised. However, I understand that you issued an apology and that it seemed heartfelt and sincere. And you’re also involved in a number of charities. I was not aware of that. In my mind I think of you as that “druggie-model.” The news media loves to remind us of a celebrity’s “wrongs” rather than their “rights.” I know you lost some of your contracts, but gained others, and since the scandal you’ve actually doubled your earnings. You're the #2 top-earning model, next to Gisele Bundchen. In the modeling world, they say you are the epitome of the “waif” look, or rather, “heroin-chic” that was so popular in the 90’s. It's no wonder you've managed to stay so thin. Drugs will do that.
I see you’re no longer with Pete Doherty. Good decision. What were you thinking? Clean up your act, girl. Let’s hear more about your “rights” than “wrongs!” After all, you have an 8 year old daughter to raise!
Happy 37th birthday Kate Moss!
Regards, Mrs Love

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Happy 60th, 70th, or 80th Birthday Charo!

Dear María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza Rasten,
I can’t believe you’re 60 today! I thought you were 80 and looked good for your age. Some of my sources say you were born in 1941 and others say 1951. I’d say you don’t look a day over crazy. After all, you’re still working your trademark “cuchi cuchi” on fine shows as “The Surreal Life”. My favorite line (when you met Flavor Flav): “The first few minutes, I didn’t put it together that it was Flavor Flake.”
Happy 60th or 70th or 80th Birthday Charo!
Regards, Mrs Love

Friday, January 14, 2011

Happy Birthday Jason Bateman!

Dear Jason Bateman,
I was going to write this birthday note, demanding that if you had it in your power, to bring back Arrested Development! However, my sources tell me that a movie has been announced, coming out in 2012…Not soon enough, if you ask me. I miss that show.
Jason, I think you’re great. Just don’t EVER do anything that would disappoint me! After all, you’re on the list: “20 Child Stars Gone Right” and I expect you to stay on it.
I’m glad you’re still working. After all, you have a beautiful wife & daughter now. But if things don’t pan out, you can always open a frozen banana stand in Balboa!
Happy 42nd Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love
PS. This is my favorite picture of you. 2008 Gap Ad with your beautiful daughter.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Happy Birthday Orlando Bloom!

Dear Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom,
The first time I saw you, you had long, beautiful, blonde hair and pointy ears. But like you’ve said: “Elves are cool.”
Congratulations on your new baby boy born last Sunday. I’m anxious to hear what you’re going to name him. I think Legolas Bloom would make a great name! I’ll bet your baby is gorgeous…the father, a handsome movie star and the mother, a Victoria Secret model.  Happy 34th Birthday Orlando Bloom!
Regards, Mrs Love
PS. The picture is of when you tried to stab me in Kingdom of Hearts! haha

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Happy Birthday Jeff Bezos!

Dear Jeff Bezos,
I’m glad you changed your company name from "Cadabra" to "Amazon." I like the name Amazon more! Cadabra sounds too much like "cadaver" and that wouldn't be a very pleasant shopping experience!  I guess your company’s big enough that when I googled “Amazon” you show up first and not the river in South America. Not bad for a company that has only been around since 1995. Quite honestly, I wouldn’t know you if I passed you on the street. However, I enjoy shopping from your website…and not just for books! I see you’re younger than I am and already a billionaire. Slow down a bit, so I can catch up! Thank you, I’d appreciate it.
Happy 47th Birthday, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos!
Muchos abrazos y bezos!
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Naomi Judd!

Dear Diana Ellen Judd,
What a taut face you have! What do you do? Or what have you had DONE?
I went through a brief country music phase in the 90’s, so I DO know who you are. My husband & I even attended the 1996 Academy of Country Music awards in Hollywood with one of the academy members. We dressed up fancy and rode in a limo! You were in the audience and I could see your flaming red hair from a mile away. I want you to know that although I’ve never purchased any of your music, I admire you. I know you raised 2 daughters on your own, contracted Hep-C and had to retire from a very successful recording career with your daughter Christina Claire Ciminella (aka Wynonna). Now you’re going to have a reality show on Oprah’s network…or so my sources tell me! If I ever chance to see you again, may I call you Diana? Or would you rather I call you Naomi? Either way, have a Happy 65th Birthday Naomi Judd!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, January 10, 2011

Happy 66th Birthday Rod Stewart!

Dear Rod Stewart,
You’re one of those artists that I don’t actually think about much and then when I look at all your hits, I say WOW!  However, I must admit I’ll take the ‘Maggie May-Rod Stewart’ over the 'Disco-Rod Stewart' any day! (Where’s Maggie May today anyway? She must be in her 80’s!) When asked what your secret to looking young all these years was, you said you’ve been using moisturizer on your face since you were 17. Well, I’m sorry Rod--you’ve always looked a bit weathered and wrinkly, so if that’s the look you’re going for, you’ve achieved it. I hope all 7 of your children (one more on the way--ages 46 to 5) gather around a cake tonight with 66 candles and sing Happy Birthday to you, Rod the Mod!
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Happy 98th Birthday President Nixon

When I started volunteering at your presidential library from 1996-2003, some people told me, ‘you’ll learn that Nixon really was a crook!’ What I learned was that you were a very complex man. Someone there told me you were like a multi-layered cake and when you get one slice of Nixon, you get a little bit of all those layers. I’m glad I spent all those years there guiding school tours and visitors. I was completely immersed in the history, the committees, the events, the visiting celebrities and politicians. Loved it!

Then after the federal government (NARA) took over, I went back in 2009; however I cou
ld only stand it for a few months. It had a different vibe. You would have been so sad. Your foundation doesn’t run it anymore. You always said you didn’t want citizens’ tax dollars paying to run your Library. Well they do!

I’ve always tried to teach my children the good that you did for this country. Rarely do people associate you with anything other than Watergate and the Vietnam War. But history, when accurate, will present all of our leaders such as they really were--and hopefully all aspects of them.

This would have been your 98th birthday.
Regards, Mrs “I am not a crook either!” Love