This month you turned 56. I regret to inform you that you look much older. I suggest you cut back on the cigs. I’ve never seen you or met you…yet. If, and when I do, I’m going to call you by your full name. After all, it’s quite unique: Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson. When I see you, I’m going to yell out, “Hey Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson! Can I have your autograph?!” I understand that you were named after a saint. Sorry Mel, but you are the LAST person I would guess to be named after a saint! And you were born in New York? All this time, I thought you were born in Australia. Thinking you were an Australian made you sexier. A New Yorker?…I don’t think so!
Recently, while waiting in line at the grocery store, I picked up a copy of People magazine. There on the cover, it read—“Ouch! Mel Loses $425 mil in Divorce…Highest in Hollywood History!” Yes, Ouch!!! Although, considering your bad behavior in the last 5 years or so, I was not that surprised. I’m sure most movie-goers were not either.
Do I have to list all the things that you’ve done, Mel? Certainly not! I wish things in Hollywood were like they were in the old days. Hollywood was a well-oiled machine. Movie stars’ images were carefully orchestrated. They were the beautiful people with beautiful lives. Motion picture studios kept scandals hush-hush. It’s not like that today. I’m sad to say that I know way more about your bad behavior than I ever wanted to know.
On a happier note Mel, after researching your life, I discovered that you and your ex-wife were generous though the years with substantial donations to many charities. I was happy to discover this. An American film critic once said of you: “I can't define "star quality," but whatever it is, Mr. Gibson has it.” Yes, you had it, Mel. That’s why I watched your movies. Now I watch you in a whole new perspective…because I’ve read so much “garbage” about you. Why not have your publicists publicize some good stuff about you? Why not DO more good, Mel? I think your fans would appreciate it. I know this fan would! Although a little belated…Happy 56th Birthday anyway!
Regards, Mrs Love