Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Happy Birthday Bob Geldof!

Dear Sir Bob Geldof,
Yes, I know you’re famous for being an Irish singer, songwriter, and former member of rock band--The Boomtown Rats.  You’re famous for composing the song, “I Don’t Like Mondays.”  I sing that song just about every Monday.  Certainly, who can forget your hit “Do They Know It’s Christmas,” which became one of the best-selling singles of all-time and a popular video.
Not surprisingly, Sir Bob, you have been honored for your many anti-poverty efforts, like Band-Aid, Live-Aid, and others worthy causes.  However, what I best remember you for is your daughters’ names.  Yes, your daughters’ names!  Whenever friends ask me for name suggestions for their babies or pets, I always refer to your daughters.
Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Little Pixie, and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily.
Your youngest daughter, who now goes by Tiger Hutchense-Geldof, is actually the daughter of your ex-wife Paula Yates and Michael Hutchense (of INXS).  How notable that you fought for her custody after both parents had committed suicide. You said it would be best that Tiger be raised with her three half-sisters.  
Sir Bob, I must tell you that I admire your for your courage.  After all, I think it took some courage to name your children with such “creative” names.  My husband and I, on the other hand, were not nearly so brave.  With the surname Love, we chose simple and unassuming names for our children-- Julie, Stacy, and Todd.  Perhaps, if I had had more children I would have been braver!  How do these sound?... Fifi Love, Peaches Love, Little Pixie Love, and Tiger Lily Love.
I hope that you were able to celebrate a very happy 60th birthday today with all your daughters.  However, I hope it wasn’t too elaborate, Sir Bob.  One magazine has reported that you are worth 30 million pounds.  I don’t know how that translates into American dollars but it sounds like a lot. Why not contribute it to one of your many anti-poverty causes?   Mmmmm, just a thought.
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Happy Birthday Gordon "Sting" Sumner!

Dear Gordon,
I first heard you in 1981. I was in a grocery store in Jaèn, Spain. "Every Little Thing" came on over the store's sound system.  I asked someone: Who is this? What song is this?  
I was told it was The Police and I've been your devoted fan ever since.  I knew the first time I heard that song would be forever etched in my mind.
I have a beautiful sketched portrait of you hanging in my sewing room. One of my daughter's gave it to me for Christmas. One day a woman came to see me about some sewing and she noticed the portrait hanging on the wall. She pointed and asked,  "Is that your husband?" I laughed and answered, "Ha! I wish!"
Thank you, Mr. Gordon Sumner, aka  "Sting", for who you are and for sharing your talent with the world. You will never be forgotten! {{and there will always be much rejoicing!}}
Happy 60th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Happy "Belated" Birthday Princess Diana!

Dear Princess Diana,
I think you were an absolutely remarkable person. You were a lovely girl brought up in a very privileged and sheltered background. Then, as Lady Diana, your life became that of a fairytale princess. The day you married your prince and became “Princess Diana,” I was in a Missionary Training Center, studying Spanish and preparing to serve a mission in Spain. I was not able to watch television and therefore, I was not able to see you walk down the aisle at watch the royal wedding along with millions of viewers all over the world. I remember feeling a bit left out. However, my sister Vanette watched every second of it and even woke up early with her college roommates to watch it live. They held a wedding reception in your honor in their apartment and invited all their friends. My sister loved you! She even cut her hair like you and dressed in the same style of clothes that you did.

You found joy involving yourself in numerous charities and used your fame for good. Royals typically involve themselves in charity work; however, with you the media followed your every move and recorded every moment of your work. You seemed very kind and genuinely caring for children, the elderly, and the sick. You said: “I want to walk into a room, be it a hospital for the dying or a hospital for sick children, and feel that I am needed. I want to do, not just to be.”

My heart ached for you as your marriage to Prince Charles fell apart. Like most of us, you had a number of human frailties which made you the “people’s princess.” Even though you were royalty, we felt we could relate to you in some way. It was apparent that your joy was with your sons. They’ve grown up to be wonderful young men as a result of the foundation you gave them. You’ve said: “Family is the most important thing in the world.” I read once that when your boys were young you would climb in a big bed and cuddle with them and have fun with a huge bowl of popcorn and watch movies…just as any mother would do! I’m sure to this day those are cherished memories of your sons.

When I learned you had been tragically killed in a car accident, I was shocked. I remember being so stunned I couldn’t speak. I was very upset along with the millions in the world who admired you. I cried for your children. Your boys were so young! Then I thought of my sister, Vanette, who I told you about earlier in this letter. She admired you and perhaps was one of the first to greet you in heaven. She had gone to heaven ahead of you by just a few years. I’m sure she looked up to you even in the life hereafter.

Diana, there has never been a woman like you since. You will not be forgotten and I’m sure your sons will make sure of that! How wonderful that William gave his bride, Katherine your beautiful blue sapphire ring! I’m sure on their wedding day, you were there in spirit.

You’ve said: “Carry out a random act of kindness; with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day, someone might do the same for you.” Although we never met, I know I have this same belief along with you. It is an excellent principle to live by! On July 1st, you would have celebrated your 50th birthday and I know you would've spent it with your family. :)
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Happy Birthday David Alan Grier!

Dear David Alan Grier,
Have you ever seen someone that looks so familiar, but you can’t remember their name? Well, this happens to me all the time, DAG.  May I call you DAG?  Because it’s your nickname and in view of the fact that you smiled at me once, I feel like we’re good friends. 
It was 2004 and my daughter and I were at “Theater Row” in Los Angeles. She was 16 years old and had written a play that was produced by the Theatre of NOTE.  It was performed six times at the theater on Sunset & Cahuenga. However, for the final performance, it was held at the Hudson “Backstage” Theatre on Santa Monica & Hudson. A larger theater was needed for the final performance since my daughter and 4 other high school students were to receive scholarships from Joey Travolta.
We were there early in the day of the final performance, watching rehearsals. During a lunch break we took a walk down Santa Monica Blvd. to get a bite to eat.  We met up with a couple of the actors, Frank Crim and David Connor.  We enjoyed a nice lunch and hurried back to theater. As we walked along Santa Monica Blvd, we saw a gentleman parking his motorcycle. He took off his helmet as he walked passed us, smiled and said, “Hi.”  Now, DAG, I know you’re involved with Comedy Central, who has one of the stages at the Hudson Theatre, so it really wasn’t too surprising to see you there. However, neither my daughter nor I could remember your name.  Once you were far enough away so as not to hear us, I said, “It’s that guy! You know that guy!” My daughter said, “I know, it’s him!  That guy! But what’s his name?” I said, “Oh yeah! It’s the policeman on Jumanji!”  She said, “Oh and he was on that show, Living Color! But what’s his name?” It wasn’t until we got home and had a chance to Google “Jumanji” that we realized exactly who you were—David Alan Grier!
David Alan Grier, star of Living Color, along with Keenan Ivory Wayans, “Carl” the police officer in Jumanji, Comedy Central stand-up comedian, etc, etc. I’m sad that it wasn’t until much later, that we realized who you were. You smiled at us, so we figured you were not only a talented actor and comedian, but also a friendly guy!
Much has happened since we saw you, DAG. You’ve been on numerous shows and performed in many venues with your stand-up comedy.  You were even a contestant on Season 8 of Dancing With The Stars.  And most exciting of all, you’re now a father!  Congratulations!
Perhaps I’ll run into you again someday, DAG. But this time I promise I will be prepared! I’ll go right up to you and say, “How you doing, DAG?” I won’t just pass by and give you a goofy grin…I promise!
Happy 55th Birthday, David Alan Grier!
Regards, Mrs Love  

Friday, July 8, 2011

Happy Birthday Tobey Maguire!

Dear Tobey Maguire,
Your real name is Tobias? You just turned 36? You’re a father of 2?  You’re a recovered alcoholic? And most surprising of all, you’re 5’7”? These are just of few of the things that surprise me about you, Tobey.
First, you’re the only one I know named Tobias.  Furthermore, you’re the only one I know named Tobey! Oh wait, my friend’s cat is named Tobey!  I read you named your son Otis Tobias Maguire.  Hey, I have another friend whose dog’s name is Otis!  LOL!  Sorry, you’re probably not laughing. 
Next you’re 36, but hardly look a day over 17!  I know there’s talk of another Spiderman movie.  I realize you run the risk of being typecast, so you don’t want to be in it.  However, Tobey, what actor will they get to play a high school version of you?  Yes, Peter Parker in high school seems to be the premise of Spiderman 4!  A younger version of Tobey Maguire?  How can that be?
You’re married with 2 children! That’s wonderful, but also surprising. I was also surprised by the names of your children.  I’ve already mentioned little Otis Tobias, and his older sister is Ruby Sweetheart. Hey, my daughter has a poodle named Ruby! Ok Tobey, I’ll stop, I promise!
There’s talk of you in the news these days being involved in an illegal poker ring.  Say it ain’t so, Tobey!  I was shocked to read about it, but I was even more shocked to discover that you’re a recovered alcoholic.  You don’t even look legal to drink!  I was pleased, however, to find out you haven’t touched alcohol since 1995 and you overcame your problem through Alcoholics Anonymous. Bravo, Tobey!
As I said, most surprising of all is that you’re 5’7”?  I’m sorry to say it Tobey, but you look shorter! Many actors look taller on screen. You, however, look shorter. Do you remember when my daughter was placed sitting next to you in the “Broadway theatre” scene of Spiderman 3?  No?  Well, let me refresh your memory.  Things were set to shoot the scene, when suddenly director Sam Raimi stopped everything and placed another actress in her place. You see, my daughter looked too tall sitting next to you!  They couldn’t have a girl sitting next to the star look taller!  So my daughter was placed slightly behind you and to your left.  Remember? Well, check the DVD and you’ll see her.
I’m surprised you surprise me like you do, Tobey. You look like the “boy next door” but there’s more to you than meets the eye. You see, working on Spiderman 3, as you came on set one day, many actors didn’t even notice you. They said you were unassuming and rather “normal.”  Now, as a fan of Spiderman 3, I must say, that even as you transformed into the evil Spiderman and you had that “emo” hair, I wasn’t convinced. You were still the “boy next door.”
Now it’s not a BAD thing that you look like you do. You’ll probably always look like the “boy next door”…no matter how many candles they put on your cake from year to year.  So, Happy “belated” Birthday Tobias!
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Happy Birthday Ricky Gervais!

Dear Ricky Dene Gervais,

No, I didn’t misspell your middle name. You’ve said that your father was drunk when filling out the birth certificate, giving you a uniquely spelled middle name. I want to write LOL here in this letter but I don’t know if that’s a funny story or the truth.

Ricky, you are truly a comedic genius. I loved you on the BBC’s “The Office,” HBO’s “Extras,” “Ghost Town,” and your show, “An Idiot Abroad.” I’m also looking forward to your new HBO sitcom “Life’s Too Short.” I heard that Sting will be making a cameo appearance on it! Excellent choice, Ricky!

You are on of the funniest people I know. Ok, so maybe I don't actually know you, but I wish I did. One blogger said she didn’t want to ever meet you because you're her hero. She said, “I think in some ways, it’s good to keep your heroes on pedestals; just to have something to aspire to.” Well, Ricky, I promise to keep you on a pedestal AND be a great friend! After all, I’ve learned so much from you! Watching your shows and movies, these are some words or terms I’ve picked up:

Blokes, Tele, Bloody, Bleeding, Bugger, Knickers, Quid, Dodgey, Cheeky, Cheers, and my favorite phrase—“Is he havin’ a laugh?”

Speaking of your laugh, Ricky, I love it! It’s so infectious. I think what it shows is that you have a real passion for life and that is the thing I love best about you.

Happy 50th Birthday! I hope that last Sat as you celebrated with family and friends, you DID have a laugh! And lots of them!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, June 27, 2011

Happy Birthday Thomas Haden Church!

Dear Thomas Haden Church,
Last week you celebrated your 50th or 51st birthday. I’m not sure and I’ll explain why later.  First of all, I would like to tell you I think that by choosing to use 3 names as your professional name, it gives you a bit of sophistication. You’ve followed the pattern of other celebrities, like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Haley Joel Osment, Tommy Lee Jones, Richard Dean Anderson, and even Jonathan Livingston Seagull! 
I first became familiar with you from the hit sit-com “Wings.”  Now you show up in tons of movies, not only for your acting, but for your voice as well.  As a character actor, you’ve been in many varied roles.  Some of my favorites—George of the Jungle, Over The Hedge, Spanglish, Easy A, and of course Sideways, for which you won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.
Now Thomas, I see you are, what I would call, an enigma. There is so much confusing and contradicting information about you on the Internet. For one, some websites claim you were born in 1960, others say 1961. I guess you can take your pick!  Another puzzle is your birthplace. Some websites say you were born in California, others say Texas.  Now about your name; some say your birth name is Thomas Richard McMillen, others say it is Thomas Richard Quesada.  Also, your name appears on a list, “Hollywood’s Most Underrated Actors,” and it’s  on the list, “Hollywood’s Greatest Actors.”  Finally, some bloggers comment about you saying, “Oooooh la la!” while others say, “Woof.”
Most surprising to me, Thomas was your portrayal of Sandman in Spiderman 3.   I hardly recognized you. Parts of the film were shot in downtown Los Angeles, at about 6th and Spring Street. My daughter worked on the film for a number of days. The scenes she worked on with you, she portrayed a New York pedestrian. During one of the breaks she called to tell me that you were in the film.  She said, “You remember that dorky guy from Wings? Well, he’s all bulked up and playing one of the villains!”
That day, the streets were blocked off and it was early morning. You were being chased by the police in the character of Flint Marko.  You hadn’t yet transformed into the “shape shifter” Sandman, and were running through the pedestrians. Another day, scenes were shot of you terrorizing the people in the form of the frightening villain, Sandman. It was chaos, people screaming, running for their lives, and even cars flipping through the air.  That’s how it looked in the film.  My daughter, in this scene, had a frightened look on her face.  She was screaming and running away from what?  What was she looking at?   Were you even there that day, Thomas?  My daughter and the pedestrians were looking at a crew member on top of the camera dolly holding a sign that read, “Villain.”  That sign was their focal point.  Your character, Sandman, would be superimposed later into the film.  Yes, much of your character was in CGI. I hope I didn’t just spill the beans, Thomas! If it makes you feel any better, the taxi cabs flipping through the air was real—all done with huge cables, and many hours of set up and intense work. 
Thomas, you’re a fine actor and I hope you had a wonderful 50th or 51st birthday last week. What did they write on your cake? Thomas Richard McMillen, Thomas Richard Quesada, or perhaps Sandman?
Regards, Mrs Love

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Happy Birthday Tim Allen!

Dear Timothy Allen Dick,
Yes, Tim, I think it was a wise choice to drop the last name “Dick.” Tim Allen suits you better. You celebrated your 58th birthday last week. Only 58?  I think of you much older.  Every Christmas I watch one of my favorite films, “The Santa Clause.”  I’ve seen it so many times, so I’ve begun to think of you as Santa.  For many years our family enjoyed “Home Improvement.”(my favorite character was your neighbor, Wilson.) I was happy to learn recently that you are returning to primetime television in a new sitcom for the 2011-2012 season—“Last Man Standing.” 
Now Tim, do you remember the first time I saw you?  It was the premier of The Santa Clause 2? I think it was in 2002.  Well, in case you don’t recall, let me refresh your memory. My daughter Stacy and I were L.A. for an appointment which didn’t take long, so we decided to go over to Hollywood Blvd and see the sights. We browsed the shops across the street from the historic “El Capitan Theatre.”  We were in a jewelry store chatting with a jeweler and asked him about the premiere going on across the street.  He said, “Now, the way you get to see the stars is when they come out of the theatre AFTER the premiere and they should be coming out soon.” So Stacy and I ran to quickly make our way to the theatre.  Just then, walking across the street, was YOU, Tim!  There you were!  Now do you remember?  I took your picture right there!  Soon a crowd began to gather and so off you went in a hurry.  It was exciting; however, I was a bit surprised at how thin you were.  Like I said, I think of you as Santa!
I’m sure you remember that, Tim.  Ok, how about the OTHER time I saw you.  It was in Studio City at a Starbucks. Again, my daughter had an appointment. We got there early and decided to pick up a couple of hot chocolates from Starbucks. It was a busy morning and we stood in a long line with lots of customers. Most of the seats in the place were filled with aspiring young screenwriters typing away on their laptops. Is it starting to sound familiar now, Tim?  Well, in you walked. I noticed you right away, but didn’t make a scene. My daughter whispered to me, “Recognize him?” “Absolutely!” I answered.  You see, Tim, you “air” about you—the “air” of a celebrity.  You went right up to the barista, she handed you a coffee and said, “Good Morning, Mr. Allen.”  Do you remember, Tim?  Then you said, “Good morning, thank you.”  And off you went. I notice you didn’t get in line like the rest of us. I notice you didn’t pay either. Perhaps you had an account there.  Oh well, no one made a fuss about it. After all, you were Tim Allen!  It was as if, a star walking in and picking up his coffee was an everyday occurrence.  Again, I was surprised at how thin and young you looked.  You still didn’t look like Santa!
Tim, I hope you had a wonderful 58th birthday last week. I’m sure you celebrated it with your family, including your two daughters—one 19 and the other a 2 year old. 
When will I run into you next, Tim?  Maybe next time you’ll remember!
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Happy Birthday "Cheap Trick" Drummer, Bun E Carlos!

Dear Bun E Carlos,
Whenever I hear your band I think of my college days in the late 70’s and early 80’s and it puts a big smile on my face. I was a loyal and devoted fan and completely hooked when I bought the album “Cheap Trick at Budokan.” I listened to that record over and over and even screamed with all the little Japanese girls in the background.

I had posters and magazine pictures in my dorm room of lead singer Robin and bass guitarist Tom. Soon the pictures would become part of the “wallpaper” of my room, joining various pictures of Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Ted Nugent, Kiss, and Peter Frampton. I’m sorry Bun E, but I didn’t have too many pictures of you. You see, the cool thing about your band was the contrast of your members. You had two glamour boys and two geekie boys. You, Bun E, (and I’m sure you knew this) were one of the geekie boys. The other geekie boy was lead guitarist Rick Nielsen, with his flipped up old style ball cap and crazy onstage antics. And then you, Bun E, looked like someone’s engineer-dad just happened to stop by and pick up the drumsticks and play. With your white shirt and tie and dangling cigarette, you certainly stuck out. However, just by your geekie persona and I’m-bored attitude, you certainly entertained me.

You introduced your own line of coffee. How entrepreneurial of you! Bun E. Blend Gourmet Coffee. “An intense blend of Columbian, Guatemalan and Sumatran coffees, providing a full body in a sharp envelope of smoky flavored Italian Style Roast." Never tried it, but sounds exotic!

So Bun E, here’s a “Cheap Trick” story. You didn’t think I would give you a birthday wish without one, did you? It was 1979 and my boyfriend “du jour,” Danny, told me he was taking me on a special date. (Note: in my college years I changed boyfriends as often as I changed my sweaters!) He wouldn’t give me any hints other than we needed to drive into the city.

So downtown we went. It was a busy weekend and there were lots of cars. We had trouble finding a parking spot. Finally we parked behind a large sports arena and saw many people going in.

As we walked around to the front, Danny said, “Why don’t you ask someone what’s going on?”
So I walked up to an usher and asked, “Hey what’s happening tonight?”
He said, “A concert.”
My next question to the usher was, “Oh really? Who’s in concert?”
He answered: “Cheap Trick.”
I screamed and turned to Danny, “Oh my gosh, I wish we could see them! I love Cheap Trick!”
He smiled at the usher, as he reached into his pocket, pulling out 2 tickets. Then he asked, “Would these get us in?”

It was an awesome night and the first of many Cheap Trick concerts I would enjoy in my life. I don’t know whatever happened to Danny. We probably broke up after that night, because that’s how I was back then.

Thank you Bun E, for your great music. Thank you for still being on the radio and bringing back good memories. Thank you for keeping a smile on my face!
You turned 60 on the 12th of June. I hope you had a very Happy Birthday Bun E Carlos (aka Brad Carlson)!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, June 20, 2011

Happy "Belated" Birthday Shia Labeouf!

Dear Shia,
The first time I saw you was when you were just a little kid on the popular Disney Channel series, “Even Stevens.”  I never actually watched an entire episode, but it was one of my kids’ favorites.  I would walk in the family room where they were watching and stop now and then to look.  I remember seeing you and I told my kids, “Now, THAT kid can act.” You had “naturalness” about you…and still do.  My favorite actors are those who don’t seem like they’re acting at all.  And you, Shia, are that kind of actor.  You were even awarded a Daytime Emmy at the ripe old age of 16! No surprise to me!
Now Shia, something else I want to tell you. When I first heard your name I said, “Now that kid needs to change his name.  There’s no way people are going to remember it.”  In fact, I had a difficult time even pronouncing it.  When I see the name Shia, I want to pronounce it “Shee-a.”  Instead it’s pronounced “Shy-a.”  When asked what your name means, you told David Letterman, “the name ‘Shia’ was Hebrew for Praise God and his last name ‘LaBeouf’ was French for Beef, hence the phrase ‘Praise God for Beef.’”  Hilarious!  So now that I’m seeing your name more and more often, I guess you can keep it as it, Shia.  I’ll let you.

To be honest with you, kid, I haven’t actually seen very many of your films. Ok, maybe one. Ok, maybe none. The truth is I haven’t seen ANY of them. I’ve never seen that golfing movie you did. I’ve never seen the Indiana jones movie, or Wall Street, or the Transformer movies.  So why would I want to write you a birthday wish?  I know who you are because my kids are your fans.  I want you to be a good guy!  PLEASE!  I know you’ve had your skirmishes with the law a number of years ago… intoxicated at a Walgreens late at night… a DUI accident, where you overturned your truck in 2008. You injured your hand, but luckily no one else was seriously hurt.
May I share a quote with you, Shia? “You can't buy back your respect; you can't buy back your career. You only get one, so I don't want to mess that up.” Who said that Shia? It’s someone you know very well.  YOU said it!  I hope you’ve learned a lesson or two from the past and you’ll put your head on straight from now on! You said you don’t want to mess up, so DON’T!
I may not be watching your films, Shia. But I WILL be keeping an eye on you! Happy slightly belated 25th Birthday and Thank God for Beef!
Regards, Mrs Love

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Happy "Belated" Birthday Michael J. Fox!

Dear Michael J. Fox
I know it was on June 9th, but I still wanted to wish you a happy 50th birthday.  Born Michael Andrew Fox, upon joining the Screen Actors Guild, you chose Michael “J” Fox as your professional name.  This was tribute to character actor Michael J. Pollard, one of the best character actors in Hollywood.
I regard you as an exceptional man, Michael J.  I admire you as an father, husband, actor, writer, advocate and optimist.  You’ve been battling illness for a long time and yet continue to move forward.  You were diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease at the age of 30.  At that time you might have chosen to quietly leave public life and live in seclusion with your wife and family.  I knew a man with Parkinson’s disease who chose to do just that.  He closed himself up in his house and rarely went out—mostly because of embarrassment.  What you’ve done with your life, Michael J, is quite the opposite of that man.  What you’ve done is nothing less than astonishing. 
Now, Michael J, (may I call you Michael J? I’m a Michael J Pollard fan too!) your career in the entertainment field, as far as I am concerned, has been remarkable—both in television and film.  Whether it was “Family Ties,” “Teen Wolf,” or the “Back to the Future” trilogy, your performances have been 100% fantastic.  You were certainly the favorite in our family as we watched “Family Ties.”  My children called it the “Alex P. Keaton Show.”  And you once said of the “Back to the Future” trilogy: “I'm…proud to be a part of a trilogy of films that, if they do nothing else, allow people to check their problems at the door, sit down and have a good time. “
You were first diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1991, but chose not to disclose it until 1998. I remember when we first heard about it. We were shocked.  How could this happen to such a young man?  I remember when you left the highly popular show “Spin City” because of the Parkinson’s disease and went into semi-retirement.  You work now and then in small guest roles on television and even do voiceover work for many films, including the “Stuart Little” films. You’ve even done the voice for the “Back to the Future” video game!
Furthermore, you make spending time with your family a priority. You’ve said: “Family is not an important thing, it's everything.”  You also established the Michael J. Fox Foundation, which is “dedicated to finding a cure for Parkinson’s disease through an aggressively funded research agenda and to ensuring the development of improved therapies for those living with Parkinson’s today.”
How surprising it is, Michael J, to see where you are now in your life. Who would’ve thought the young man we all fell in love with so many years ago as Alex P. Keaton, is now considered one of the most respected men in the country; even a hero! Thank you for your courage, optimism, commitment to family and commitment to helping improve the lives of those who also battle the same disease.  Once you said, “In my 50s I'll be dancing at my children's weddings.”  I believe that will happen, Michael J! Happy “belated” 50th Birthday, Michael J. Fox.
Regards, Mrs Love

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Happy Birthday Prince!

Dear Prince,
I know your birthday was yesterday, but I still wanted to take just a minute to wish you a happy one.  I wanted to use your real name in this letter, so I looked it up.  Your real name is Prince?  Prince Rogers Nelson.  Your parents actually named you “Prince?”  Well done!  However this makes me wonder why between 1993-2000 you changed your name to some freaky name that no one could read or pronounce!  Apparently it has been officially translated to “Love Symbol #2.”  Eventually the media had to refer to you as “The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.”  I had often wondered how it would be if someone were to attempt to pronounce that name.  A scene from “Splash” came to mind. When Daryl Hannah’s character “Madison” tries to tell Tom Hank’s character “Alan” what her name is in her language, you hear a strange screeching sound.  They’re standing in the TV appliance section of a department store and all the TV screens break simultaneously.  Well, I’m sure that’s what would happen if people tried to pronounce that strange name.  Why didn’t you just change your name to your childhood nickname, “Skipper?”  Easier to pronounce and spell.
You were born and raised in Minnesota?  I’d have thought you were born in some exotic place like Aruba or Belize. And you pioneered the “Minneapolis sound”?  Now I’ve only been to Minneapolis on a layover, but when I hear of Minneapolis I think of Garrison Keillor and The Prairie Home Companion.  Instead you describe the “Minneapolis sound” as “a hybrid mixture of funk, rock, pop, R&B and New Wave that has influenced many other musicians.”   So what you’re saying is that if I were to be musical artist someday, I could make up some distinctive sound and call it the “Yorba Linda sound?”  Ok, Prince, I’ll have to remember that.
I first learned about you in 1979 from a girl who lived in my sister’s dorms.  She listened to you and Rick James all the time.  I loved the music!  It was unique that’s for sure!  That girl in the dorms, who later became one of my best friends and a bridesmaid in my wedding, was so in-love with you.  Finally she showed me your picture in a magazine.  I said, “I can’t believe you’re in love with this guy? He’s wearing eyeliner and lipstick!  Plus he has on lace and high heels!”  I was shocked but intrigued, which I’m sure was your intent.
So Prince, or “Artist Formerly Known as The Artist Former Known as Prince”, or “Skipper,”  you are arguably one of the most experimental and “out there” artists.  You were around way before Lady Gaga was born and now she’s known as the “out there” artist of today.   O(+>  …there’s that the best I could do!  How’s that for Love Symbol #2?  Happy 53rd!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, June 6, 2011

Happy Birthday Parker Stevenson!

Dear Parker Stevenson,
Do you remember the time I hid in the trunk of a car just to get a glimpse of you?  What?  You don’t remember me?  Don’t you remember those 3 crazy girls watching you on the set of “The Hardy Boys?”  You know the cute ones?  I believe it was 1978. Well, let me refresh your memory.
You and Shaun Cassidy were the stars of the popular television show, “The Hardy Boys.” We found out you were filming at Lion Country Safari one day.  Lion Country Safari was located in Laguna Canyon in Orange County.  The episode was supposed to be about the Hardy boys going to Africa to solve a crime. Of course they were going to solve a crime!  Isn’t that what they did in every episode? 
Why film the episode in Orange County?  Well I’m sure the production company wanted to keep costs down. It was cheaper to go to film in the O.C. than to really go to Africa!  One of my friend’s older brothers worked at Lion Country Safari and told us about the filming. (Note: Lion Country Safari no longer exists here in the O.C., but it was theme park where you could drive your car among the lions and giraffes, hippos, etc.  I remember they had a sign outside the park that said “No Trespassing: Violators Will Be Eaten!”)
Now Parker, I must tell you that in 1978 I was deeply in love with you and your costar, Shaun Cassidy, so I was determined to go to the Hardy Boys set and get a glimpse of you!  So I called 2 of my girlfriends to come along that day. One of the girls drove her little Datsun 710 and when we got to the park, we discovered we didn’t have enough money to get all 3 of us in.  No problem!  Two of us would squish into the trunk, while one would drive.  That was the plan.  I was one of the girls chosen to get into the trunk. (Note: I was A LOT skinnier then!)    I remember being in that tiny trunk, my face smashed against the lid, barely able to breath.  I remember thinking, “All THIS just to see The Hardy Boys?” 
Well we got in! Luckily, in 1978, they didn’t do thorough security checks like they do today.  Many filming locations do careful checks of each vehicle, including trunks!  Well, we drove around a bit and found my friend’s brother.  He let us hang out with him on the set and we got to meet most of the crew and other actors. We were there the entire day!
Now Parker, I wish I could tell you that we got to meet you and Shaun that day and we became the best of friends.  Sadly though, we only saw you from a distance.  You were the stars of the show, so you were kept pretty guarded.  You hung out in your trailer most of the day.  However, one of the production assistants was able to get us your pictures and autographs.   Perhaps the crew warned you about the 3 crazy girls hanging out on set and it was safer for you to stay in your trailer! Perhaps they thought we were more dangerous than the lions and tigers at Lion Country Safari!  Oh well, it was a worth it to us!  We got to see you in person, even if it was from a distance and we had a fun story to go home and tell our friends and family. And believe me, Parker, I’ve told this story for YEARS!
I have wondered about you Parker; where you are and what you’re doing now. I know you went on to become one of the “original” lifeguards on Baywatch and you were once married to wacky Kirstie Alley…(when she was thin!).  I hope I’ll get to see you on TV now and then so I can reminisce once again about the time I hid in a trunk to try and get a glimpse of you!  
I hope you had a very Happy 59th Birthday last Saturday!  59? Wow!  How did that happen?
Regards, Mrs Love

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Happy Birthday Clint Eastwood!

Dear Clint,
I know I’m a little behind on my birthday wish to you, but I still want to wish you a Happy 81st Birthday anyway.  I have admired your work for a long, long time. You are such a talented man-- actor, director, producer, music composer, and even politician!  Before you were “A Man With No Name,” Sylvester “Pardner” Newell, “Dirty” Harry Callahan, Prisoner Frank Morris,  Secret Service Agent Frank Horrigan, or boxing trainer Frankie Dunn, or Carmel California Mayor--you were just Clinton Eastwood Jr. of Piedmont, California. You were the son of a steel-worker and migrant worker and were nicknamed “Samson” when you were born because you weighed a whopping 11lbs.6oz! That must be some kind of record!
It’s amazing that a guy whose trademark is his squint and the way he hisses his lines through his teeth, would now be worth $400 million. Not too shabby, my friend.  May I call you my friend?  If you are my friend, got a million to spare?
Now, Clint my friend, I must tell you my favorite of your films was “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” Loved the poncho!  In fact, now that I think of it, I want one!  I think it’s time to make a trip to Olvera Street!   No, actually, my favorite was “Paint Your Wagon” because you sang in it.  No, my favorite was, “Dirty Harry.” Ok, all the Dirty Harry films. You did such an awesome job.  I guess I could go on and on.  But don’t let me forget “Escape From Alcatraz” or “The Bridges of Madison County.”  Alright, I’ll stop now.
Clint, there is one thing I know about you that disappoints me.  You’ve been known as a “serial womanizer.”  You’ve fathered at least 7 children by 5 different women.  And actress Sondra Locke, who you lived with for 14 years, has nothing nice to say about you. In fact, she’s written a whole book about you:  “The Good, The Bad and the Very Ugly.”
Well, who am I to judge?  I only know what I read on the Internet.  And as you know, Clint, everything on the Internet is fact, right?  You said once: “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”  I completely agree, my friend.  However, now that you ARE married, I hope you’ve learned to be faithful.
I  love what you said about your mother, who died at age 97: “She had no fear and I think as you get older -- you probably have more fear as a younger person than you do as an older person. Because as an older person you have stacked up a lot of background and time-in-grade, so to speak, so you are probably thinking what the hell, I have had a good time!”
I’ll bet you’ve had a good time, my friend.  I’m sure on Tues. you had a wonderful time celebrating your 81st birthday with family and friends.  Perhaps the 7 children by 5 different women were there too.  Perhaps you wore your poncho.  Perhaps when you blew out the 81 candles, you said, “Go ahead! Make my day!”
Regards, Mrs Love

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Happy Birthday Michael J. Pollard!

May 30, 2011
Dear Mr. Pollard,
It is rare today in Hollywood for an actor such as you, to keep his personal life virtually “hidden.”  It is rare, because with the internet, there is so much information at everyone’s fingertips.  Information can be found just about any person’s age, creed, color, religion, sex, birth date or death date. This past week, I saw that you celebrated your 72nd birthday.  However, I did a search on your name and found practically nothing about you.  There was very little on my two main sources for celebrity info…Wikipedia and the Imdb. There was no fansite, no interviews, nothing.
This was surprising to me because you have been showing up in movies and TV for so many years.  Anyone who has enjoyed your work knows your face.  Perhaps they aren’t familiar with your name, but they know who you are.  I showed my husband your picture the other day and asked, “Have you ever seen this actor?”  His response, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen him.”
Not long ago I enjoyed watching “Bonnie and Clyde.”  You received an academy award nomination for your portrayal of C.W. Moss, the dim-witted gasoline station attendant.  I loved that character!   I also enjoyed you in “Roxanne” where you had a little role, but you were very, very funny!  I’m sure it was a great experience to work with the brilliant Steve Martin.
I think the best thing discovered about you that most people don’t know, is that Michael J. Fox adopted the “J” as homage to you.  That’s right; Michael J. Fox was born as Michael Andrew Fox. The Screen Actors Guild rules say there can’t be more than one person with the same name in the guild.  So when Michael Andrew Fox had to register his name, he could have picked Michael A. Fox, but decided to register his name as Michael “J” Fox.  He said, “in honor of legendary character actor Michael J. Pollard.”
Now, Michael J., I applaud you for keeping your life top-secret, which is hard to do in this day and age.  However, I want to thank you for sharing your talent with us for so many years.  I hope you had a wonderful day last Mon. as you celebrated your 72nd birthday! 
One of your  fans,
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Birthday Annette Bening!

May 29, 2011
Dear Annette Bening,
As they say—it’s all in the details.  I learned this watching you film the HBO film “Mrs. Harris.” It was 2003 and it was the first major motion picture my 16 year old daughter got to work on. I tagged along as her “stage mom.”
As you remember, “Mrs. Harris” was the film you portrayed Jean Harris, the private girls’ school headmistress who murdered famed “Scarsdale Diet” doctor, Dr. Herman Tarnower.  My daughter portrayed one of the students at the private girls’ school.
One of the scenes she worked on was on the lawn of the school.  The time period that day was the late 1970’s.  Walking onto the set, I felt like I was transported back in time. The cars in the parking lot, the school books the girls carried, the clothing the teachers wore, was all reminiscent of the late 1970’s—which I remember very well.
My daughter was to be playing lacrosse in the background of your scene. Your character, Mrs. Harris, was upset with someone who left orange peels on the grass. You were speaking to your secretary. Then you opened your handbag and put the orange peels in. By this time in the film, your character, Jean Harris, was clearly addicted to medications that Dr. Tarnower was administering to you.
As I sat off camera, watching the scenes being rehearsed and filmed, I was amazed at the careful attention to detail.  Near where I was sitting, there was a prop master peeling the oranges so the peels could be used in the scene.  Each time the scene was filmed a new set of  peels had to be placed carefully on the grass.   
More details were checked.  Everyone had a job to do. There was a rather eccentric costume designer upset with her workers for having one of the teachers carry the wrong purse.  Some of the wardrobe staff were measuring the knee socks my daughter.  They had to be exactly one  inch folded down…no more and no less.  I’d never seen anything like it. My daughter, wearing a darling private girls’ school uniform, had to have her sweater buttoned just so, and her hair pulled back just so.  No earrings, no lipstick, no tattoos, no highlights in her hair, etc.  So many rules about the details!
Now, may I be perfectly honest with you, Ms. Bening?  I can tell you that as a movie goer, I wouldn’t have noticed those details.  I remember watching that scene on HBO. All I watched was you, picking up the orange peels and placing them in your handbag.  Then, of course,  I looked behind you and there was my daughter.
I did get to cross paths with you one day on set, Ms. Bening. You were lovely. Our eyes met and you smiled at me.  Remember?  No?  Ok, that was a day they were filming the girls in an auditorium. And I was one of the many stage moms.  My daughter told me on the way home that day, how nice you were. She told me what a great actress you were. You made such an impression on my little 16 year old. You made an impression on me, as well.  I saw how hard everyone worked to make sure everything was perfect.
The whole experience of being on the set of “Mrs. Harris” changed the way I look at movies. I hope you had a very Happy 53rd Birthday Saturday.
From a fan who now looks at the details!
Regards, Mrs Love

Happy Birthday Gladys Knight!

May 28, 2011
Dear Gladys,
I remember the first time I saw you perform live. It was at the 1999 BYU Women’s Conference in Provo, Utah. I attended it with my friend Nina. We heard you were to be the keynote speaker of the conference. You had just joined the Mormon Church a few years before. We knew who you were, of course.  You were a hugely popular celebrity and Grammy award winning singer.  You’re even known as the “Empress of Soul!”  However, I just couldn’t believe you were a converted Mormon.  I must admit I was a skeptic.  I knew you were an “entertainer” and so I was expecting to be “entertained.”
We were sitting in the Marriott Center at BYU which was filled to near capacity with 20,000 women.  Not only did you speak to the audience, but you also sang to us.  You sang some solos, but also with a choir of young women from Henderson, Nevada, where you live.  I remarked to my friend, “Those young girls weren’t even born when Gladys was singing with The Pips. They probably have no idea who she is!”
At the end of your address, you shared with us your conversion story. As I listened, I knew in my heart that we were not being “entertained.” I could feel it was a true conversion. It was real. I’ve never forgotten that feeling. It left a lasting impression on me.
The next time I saw you perform live was just a few months ago in Rancho Cucamonga, CA at a Mormon church. These days you travel and perform with the “Saints United Voices” choir and I discovered that one of my high school friends was a member of your choir. Colleen invited me and another high school friend to go to the performance. We had second row seats and enjoyed the music very much.  You also spoke to the audience, much like you had many years before at the BYU Women’s Conference. You shared your conversion story once again. You bore a profound testimony of your beliefs.  Again, I knew we were not being “entertained.” And again, that feeling I had felt once before, was there again.
I have always admired you, Ms. Knight. But now I admire you even more…I think, because you are so passionate about what you believe in and you so earnestly want to share it with others.  What a wonderful talent God has blessed you with…not only your beautiful voice, but your beautiful spirit as well. I hope you had a very Happy 67th Birthday this past Saturday.  I’m sure you shared it with your family and friends…and maybe even with The Pips!
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Happy Birthday Henry Kissinger!

May 27, 2011
Dear Hank,
A number of years ago, you were to be given the Nixon Foundation Architect of Peace award.  I was a docent at the Nixon Presidential Library at the time.  So that there were no empty seats at the ceremony, the foundation asked a number of docents to be “seat fillers.”  I was one of the docents chosen.
Before the event there would be a reception line. In the line would be Julie Nixon Eisenhower, Governor Pete Wilson, Senator John McCain and You.  The other docents and I were given only one instruction; how to address you.  We were told to say:  “Good evening, Doctor Kissinger, my name is …”  We received strict instructions to refer  to you ONLY as “DOCTOR Kissinger.”  We rehearsed what we were to say and I remember thinking:  oh, so this is how you talk to politicians?
As I waited with the other docents, I turned to them and said, “Why can’t we just say, ‘Good evening, MISTER Kissinger?’”  They said: “No, Vivian, you’d better follow protocol and say it just as you were told!” Then I looked at them and said in a very serious voice, “Well, I’m going to say, ‘Good evening, HANK!’ Why should I say ‘DOCTOR Kissinger?’  Heck, my dad has a doctorate and he doesn’t make everyone call him DOCTOR!”   They laughed, however I didn’t crack a smile and this alarmed them.  They believed I was going to go through with my plan.  
As we approached the reception line, we first met Mrs. Eisenhower, daughter of Pres. Nixon.  I barely got a word out of my mouth, when she said: “Good evening, I am Julie Eisenhower, and you are?”  I was kind of caught off guard. I stuttered out the name, “Vivian Love.”  I then had a brief conversation with her and found her to be absolutely charming. 
Next was Governor Pete Wilson, former governor of California. He didn’t say a word but shook my hand. I said, “Good evening” and continued down the line. Next was Senator John McCain of Arizona. He didn’t say a word either as we shook hands.  I said, “Good evening” and he actually smiled.
Finally came the moment for me to approach you.  Looking back at the docents who were behind me, I could see their concerned looks.  Was Vivian going to do it?  What would she say?  Was she serious? Would she be asked to resign from the docent guild tomorrow?  Would she embarrass all the docents?  
I approached you and saw your hand outstretched to mine. You didn’t say a word; didn’t even crack a smile.  I composed myself, took a deep breath, shook your hand and said, “Good evening, DOCTOR Kissinger, I am Vivian Love.”  (of course I over-emphasized DOCTOR!)  I could hear a faint sigh coming from the other docents. I smiled at them as we took our seats and said: “Did you really think I would call him Hank?” We all laughed.
What would you have thought Hank?  I could’ve called you “HEINZ!”…your birth name. LOL  I do hope you had a wonderful birthday on Friday, as you blew out 88 candles on your cake.  I hope your family and friends sang to you:  Happy Birthday to you, Hank! 
Regards, Mrs Love

Friday, May 27, 2011

Happy Birthday John Wayne!

May 26, 2011
Dear Marion,
You have been remembered as the epitome of vigor and ruggedness.  However, let me be honest with you Marion.  Your stage name, John Wayne, certainly suited you much better.  Perhaps as an infant, when your parents had their first look at you, they thought you looked like a Marion.  After your brother was born, and was named Robert, your parents changed your middle name to Michael. Your parents didn’t even use their birth names either. Your father was Clyde Morrison and he went by “Doc.”  Your mother was Mary Brown and she went by “Molly.” Sounds a bit confusing, I’d say.
Oh yes, I mustn’t forget another one of your names:  Duke.  The story goes that as a young man growing up in Glendale, Calif, you owned an Airedale terrier. You two were inseparable.  Local firemen, seeing you walk him along the streets of Glendale, gave you a nickname. The name stuck with you until the day you died. You were known as Big Duke and the dog was Little Duke.
Years later you recounted:  "There've been a lot of stories about how I got to be called Duke. One was that I played the part of a duke in a school play, which I never did. Sometimes, they even said I was descended from royalty!  It was all a lot of rubbish.  Hell, the truth is that I was named after a dog!"
Now John, my father used to tell a story about my great grandmother seeing you in a restaurant in Los Angeles.  She walked right up to you, slapped you on the back and said “Hello, John!”  You turned around, somewhat startled, but had a nice chat with her.  I see now that my longtime fascination with celebrities is genetic!
Considering that you and I both lived in Orange County for so many years, I feel like we have a kinship. I’ve lived in the OC for about 44 years.  I remember taking a boat tour of the Newport Harbor with my family and someone pointed out your beautiful home along the water. Out in front there was a private dock with your beautiful yacht, The Wild Goose.  The OC loved you so much; they even named an airport after you! 
Let me tell you a funny story, Duke.  Many years ago a friend of ours was visiting. He had the first name John and middle name Wayne. Once he was trying to get our daughter, who was 16 at the time, to guess his full name. He gave all kinds of hints like, “I was named after a famous western actor.”  She guessed: Clint Eastwood.  Then he said, “I was named after someone who people called The Duke.”  She guessed: A dog?  He tried to give her more clues, but finally gave up and told her, “My name is John Wayne!”  She looked at him completely serious and asked, “You were named after an airport???”
Well, I better close now.  A poll was conducted last year that indicated you were the 3rd favorite actor in America…right behind Denzel Washington and Johnny Depp.  You left us too soon, Duke, but America still loves you.  Happy Birthday on what would have been your 104th birthday.
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Mr. T!

May 21, 2011
Dear Laurence Tureaud,
The rest of the world knows you as Mr. T.  It’s funny how you are considered an 80’s icon. You developed a character and have stuck with it all these years.  In the acting world, an actor tries to avoid being typecast. However, you seem to embrace it.  Being typecast limits the work an actor gets.  Once an actor is strongly identified with a specific character or role, everyone expects to see only that.  But that’s how you’ve made millions!
That’s right, Larry.  May I call you Larry?  That would be your name if you hadn’t decided to change it to Mr. T.  Why did you do that anyway?  I know you came up with that name when you worked as a nightclub bouncer.  I wonder if people had a difficult time pronouncing your last name, so it was just easier to say: Call me Mr. T!  Back in those days, you didn’t do so badly. When you became a body guard, you were earning anywhere from $3,000 to $10,000 a night.  You even worked for a time as a bodyguard to Michael Jackson!
Well, Larry, I first saw you as the character Clubber Lange and then as B.A. Baracus in the TV series, The A-Team.  You’ve worked on many other films and TV shows, mostly in cameo roles.  You’ve become quite well-known for just showing up in random films at random times!
You are best known, Larry, for your mohawk and jewelry.  At the height of your career you were wearing over $300,000 in jewelry at a time.  Now you don’t wear it so much.  And that’s ok. You’re still Mr. T!
I know that a few years back, you took a little break.  For about 5 years you were on hiatus as you recovered from a bought with cancer.  When you returned to show biz, you still had your signature mohawk.  For a time, the Chia Pet Company made a Mr. T. Chia head!  Ingenious!  There have been Mr. T dolls, cartoons, TV shows, and videos.   I just wanted to let you know that your “Treat Your Mother Right” is one of my favorites!
According to, you are worth about $4.5 million.  Not too bad for a guy who has only ever portrayed one character.  As you would say, “I pity to fool!”...who says there’s anything wrong with being typecast!
I must close now and end this “jibba jabba!” Happy 59th Birthday, Larry (aka Mr. T!)
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Happy Birthday Enya!

May 17, 2011
Dear Eithne Padraigín Ní Bhraonáin,
Sorry, I don’t speak Irish Gaelic, your native language, so may I call you Enya?
I love your music. It is soothing and relaxing. Your voice is beautiful. Critics categorize your music as “New Age.”  You, however, categorize it as “Enya” music.  Even your 4 Grammy’s are in the “New Age” category.  In your next acceptance speech you should let people know that it is “Enya” music!  

I remember hearing “Orinoco Flow” (Sail Away) for the first time in the late 80’s.  At first I thought “Enya” was an entire music group. I heard that you overlay your voice up to 8 times in many of your songs. That’s how it sounds like many people singing. In order to sing in live venues, I understand that you must sing along with taped music of your songs.  That’s the only way to achieve the same effect.

If life could have a soundtrack, Enya, I think your music would make a beautiful theme for mine. Most days I would probably pick Led Zeppelin or The Who as the theme music to my life. However, your music would calm me down and make everything seem more beautiful. No matter what I did in any given day, if there was Enya music playing in the background, it would make my life seem beautiful. Going to the grocery store, the mall, pumping gas, working, driving on the freeway, everything would be so beautiful!

The 1991 Steve Martin film, “LA Story” had 3 of your songs in it. This is where I came up with the idea that your music would be a beautiful life soundtrack. It seems hard to believe that a movie about Los Angeles would have Enya music in it.  However, it really enhanced the movie.

Now Enya, I must tell you that one of my favorite of your songs is “If I Could Be Where You Are.”  It moves me to tears when I listen to it. It describes perfectly how I feel about my late sister. I miss her terribly. One of these days I hope to visit you in your castle mansion in Ireland and I will ask you all about that song and perhaps if there’s a story behind it.

Thank you for creating, what I describe, as a big of heaven on earth. Happy 50th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, May 16, 2011

Happy Birthday Megan Fox!

May 16, 2011
Dear Megan Fox,
Yes, you are considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. And I certainly agree. However, no one in Hollywood is perfect. Not even you. You have one flaw. Although you try to hide it in your films and photos, it was made known to me by my daughter. It’s your thumbs. You were born with a condition called “brachydactyly” thumbs, which means that your thumbs are slightly clubbed or misshapen. Some people call it a “nubby thumb.”  I’m sure this won’t get in the way of millions of men swooning over you though. And just so you don’t have to feel alone in the “strange thumbs department,” here are a couple more celebs with misshapen thumbs. You see Megan, you’re in perfect company with Vince Vaughan, Eric Roberts, and Adrian Pasdar (“Nathan Petrelli” in Heroes).

Now, one good thing about Hollywood, Megan, is that you can always hire a hand-double. It’s true. I remember hearing at my daughter’s agency that they were looking for a hand double for actor, Adrian Pasdar. They were very specific. The hand-double had to have the same skin tone, age, finger shape, etc. as Adrian. And even if a man met the qualifications, he still had to “audition” for the job. The hand had to match perfectly!  You see, that day on the set of Heroes, they were filming a scene where “Nathan Petrelli” was showing someone a ring he was wearing on his left hand. His left hand? Oh no, that’s the hand where he has a misshapen thumb!  No problem, just cue the hand-double. And that’s exactly what they did!  I’ll bet you never noticed they never showed “Nathan Petrelli’s” left thumb! Ever!

So Megan, you probably have a hand-double that works for you too. She’s probably on an on-call basis. You probably have her phone number memorized! Now if she’s unavailable some time, no problem. They’ll just Photoshop a good thumb in for you!

I hope you had a wonderful 25th birthday. I’m sure you didn’t forget to hide your one “flaw” as you blew out the 25 candles! By the way, if it makes you feel any better, Jennifer Garner has a strange right toe and Dan Ackroyd was born with webbed feet. Don’t believe me? Just Google it!  Remember, no one in Hollywood is perfect! Not even you, Megan Fox!
Regards, Mrs Love