Friday, February 25, 2011

Happy Birthday Sean Astin, My "Cousin"

Feb. 25, 2011
Dear Sean Astin,
For so many years I would say you were my cousin. And my kids said you were their cousin. How did all this happen? My father, the ever-diligent genealogist discovered a link between our family (McCune-Midgley-Mackenzie) to your family (Astin-Midgley-Mackenzie). How exciting it was to watch Rudy and say, “Great job, cousin!” And then watch you portray the hobbit, Samwise Gamgee in The Lord of the Rings films. We’d tell our friends, “Our cousin is a hobbit!”

Even in 2009, just before my son was getting ready to go to “Middle Earth” (aka New Zealand), he was visiting Disneyland with his sisters and brother-in-laws. And who did they run into that day? No, not Mickey Mouse! You! How excited they were to tell you they were your cousins! Of course, you looked at them a little suspiciously but were kind enough to take a picture with them. Oh, it was a wonderful family story! The kind we wanted to hear about at every future family reunion, until the end of time.

But then everything changed. One day a few months ago I was reading about you on the interent and discovered that in 1994 you underwent DNA testing. It was revealed that John Astin was not really your biological father. Rock promoter, Michael Tell, whom your mother was married to briefly, was your biological father. I was happy to hear that you still consider John Astin to be your father, since he raised you. However, I was shocked! What? John Astin, the actor who portrayed Gomez Addams in the 60’s The Addams Family, was not your biological father? That’s who I am related to! Oh, Sean, what a sad, sad day it was to find out we are not really cousins.

Can we be “honorary cousins”? You are a wonderful actor, a fine human being; even one of the rare former child actors who doesn’t drink or do drugs. You’re married now, with three daughters. Dearest Sean, may I still call you “cousin?”
Happy 40th Birthday
Regards, Your cousin, Mrs Love
PS. I am still your brother’s cousin…Mackenzie Astin. Unless another DNA test shows otherwise!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Happy Birthday George Harrison!

Feb. 24, 2011
Dear George Harrison,
I may be wishing you a Happy 68th Birthday a day too soon, since most of your life you celebrated your birthday on Feb 25th. It wasn’t until a family document was discovered, stating your birthday was actually Feb. 24th, 11:50pm. Wikipedia states Feb. 25th and the IMDb says it’s Feb. 24th. Oh well, it...’s the Internet. Who can you believe?
In most of your pictures you have a serious look. I think there should have more of you smiling. You had a great smile. And so along with this letter to you, I’ve posted my favorite picture of you.
One of my favorites of your songs was on the Beatles’Abbey Road album, “Here Comes the Sun.” It still never fails to make me smile. It was released in 1969 and although I was just a little kid back then, I was a huge Beatles fan. Whenever I hear that song, it takes me back to the years I would sleep with my little black transistor radio under my pillow each night. I would listen to radio stations that played Beatles music, along with other rock music of the time…all night long. Funny thing, I’m 50 now and do essentially the same thing, but now it’s with an iPod and earbuds in my ears…all night long.
You and Paul McCartney were classmates in England and became friends as you rode the same bus every day, carrying your first guitars. You played 26 musical instruments and once said: “I would rather be a musician than a rock star.” Paul McCartney described you as “my baby brother” and you passed away in his Los Angeles home in 2001.
A year after your passing, a tribute concert was held at London’s Royal Albert Hall, featuring your music, performed by many of your close friends, including Eric Clapton, Tom Petty, Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr. I like to believe that in some way you were able to hear it.
Yes, George, you were considered the youngest and shyest Beatle, but I think you just went about with your life and your beliefs and music, not drawing too much attention to yourself. You were one of the good people in this world. You were one that was taken from us too soon.
“Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right.”
Regards, Mrs Love

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Happy Birthday Dakota Fanning!

Feb. 23, 2011
Dear Hannah,
That’s right. Your name is Hannah, not Dakota. I guess Hannah Fanning didn’t sound very “Hollywood” so now you go by Dakota Fanning. I guess it’s more hip. (and your actress sister, Elle, is really named Mary?)
You’re 17 today. Now you can (legally) go see all the rated-R movies that you’ve been in!
Now Hannah, or Dakota, or Ms Fanning, or whatever, you’re a child actress that I believe will transition into adult roles very well--like Jodie Foster or Leonardo DiCaprio. Please be good. Don’t disappoint me, dear. I don’t ever want to hear that you turned out like child actors like Lindsay Lohan or the late Gary Coleman. Grow up to be one of the “good” people in Hollywood. Or better yet, stay little and cute and never grow up at all!
Happy 17th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Happy Birthday Steve Irwin!

Feb. 22, 2011
Today I’ve been sick, so I’m going to bed early. Today would have been Steve “Crocodile Hunter” Irwin’s 49th birthday. Crikey! So, I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts, memories, and quotes about him.
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, February 21, 2011

Happy Birthday Alan Rickman!

Feb. 21, 2011
Dear Alan Rickman,
Whenever I go to a movie and find out you’re in it I say: Ok, this is going to be good. Alan, you always make any movie infinitely better.
The first time I saw you was in “Die Hard,” where you played the German villain Hans Gruber.
And then I saw you in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” opposite Kevin Costner, as Sheriff of Nottingham.
“Locksley! I’m going cut your heart out with a spoon!”
“Why with a spoon, cousin? Why not with a sword or an axe or something?”
“Because it’s dull you twit, it’ll hurt more!”
(Perhaps you could’ve taught Kevin Costner to speak in a British accent. An American Robin Hood?)
Then I saw you in the Harry Potter movies as Serverus Snape, dark and mysterious, with an incredibly droll, dry wit.
In so many of your movies you have a kind of charisma that enables you to portray rather creepy, dark characters. However you have your gentle side too, like in “Love Actually, “Sense & Sensibility”, or even “Galaxy Quest.” (…Never give up, never surrender!)
I truly believe you are one of those individuals who is doing exactly what he was meant to do: be an actor. 
Happy 65th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Happy Birthday Cindy Crawford!

Feb. 20, 2011
Dear Cindy Crawford,
I wondered if you were at the NBA All-Star game tonight at the Staples Center with your birthday buddies, Charles Barkley (48) and Rhianna (23). But most likely you were enjoying a quiet evening with your family.
You’re a supermodel, celebrity, entrepreneur, MTV host, and girl with the trademark mole just above your lip. Now Cindy, you’re not the only one with a trademark mole…or as it’s sometimes called, “beauty mark.” Marilyn Monroe had one. Paula Abdul has one, but she covers it with thick makeup. Natalie Portman has one. Angelina Jolie does too. Robert DeNiro has one, but I’m sorry I wouldn’t call it a “beauty mark.” On him, it’s just a mole. Even Martha Stewart has one. Sarah Jessica Parker had one, but has had it removed, so perhaps she not a beauty anymore. Enrique Iglesias had one, but eventually had his removed. And personally, I think it’s made him even MORE of a beauty!
Now, Cindy, even though I’m not a celebrity, I have one too. And I like to call it a “beauty mark” too!
You are a beautiful, smart woman and I’ve admired you for a long time. I even have one of your first exercise videos. I’ve actually watched it once, although watching it exhausted me! You look beautiful in it and I can see the exercises have worked very well for you.
Cindy, I haven’t purchased any of your skin care products I see on late night infomercials. However, if you can guarantee if I use your products, I’ll look just like you, then I will buy them!
Have a wonderful 45th birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Happy Birthday Seal!

Feb. 19, 2011
Dear Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel,
Or may I just call you Seal, like everyone else? I hope you know you’re not the first celebrity who has chosen to use a one-word stage name. There’s Beck, Beyonce, Cher, Bjork, Fabio, Yanni, Shakira, Bono, Charo, Liberace, Pink, Coolio, Dido, Twiggy, Elvis (ok, maybe he didn’t drop his last name, but if you just say Elvis, everyone knows who that is.), Flea, Jewel, Madonna, Oprah (ok, another one who hasn’t dropped her last name, but everyone knows who Oprah is…is there even another?), Sting, Penn, Teller, Usher, and even Lassie. Have I forgotten anyone?
I admire you and your wife Heidi Klum. I think you are an awesome couple. I understand you renew your wedding vows every year. You’ve said: "Each year, Heidi and I get remarried. It's a great party, but for about an hour, we go off on our own down to a private beach. We sit there with the kids and read vows to each other as the sun sets. It's a very special moment to us."
Now I must tell you something that I hope you don’t take the wrong way. I was quite surprised when I first heard that you were married to Heidi Klum. You see, I think you look better with your wife at your side…as all husbands do. But you look exceptionally better!
Furthermore, Seal, please don’t ever do anything to disappoint me. I admire you and Heidi Klum so much and would very upset if I ever read you were not the decent and respectable man that you are today. Carry on, my friend. (May I call you friend? Well, I did anyway!)
Happy 48th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Friday, February 18, 2011

Happy Birthday John Hughes!

Feb. 18, 2011
Dear John Hughes,
Today would have been your 61st birthday. You left us too soon, at age of 59. You were behind so many of my favorite films, either as writer or director or both. You were involved in many more films because you wrote scripts under the pseudonym: Edmund Dantes.
What have I learned from your films?

1) Believe in yourself.
"Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself." --Ferris Bueller

2) Everyone finds love.
It happened to Samantha Baker & Jake Ryan. The Athlete and The Basket Case. Farmer Ted and Caroline. Duckie and Kristy Swanson. Long Duck Dong and that really tall girl.

3) Everyone wants to be loved.
“I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?"--Jake Ryan, Sixteen Candles

4) You taught us to love the oddball.
Duckie, Farmer Ted, The Basket Case, Long Duck Dong.

5) Crushes work out and end in candle-lit birthday cakes on top of dining room tables with hunky guys.

6) The person you're meant to be with may be right under your nose.
Or at least that was supposed to be for Duckie and Andie (and WAS the case in the original ending, but was booed by audiences) Duckie was the greatest guy EVER. So Pretty In Pink taught me not to make the mistake Andie did. Pay attention, or you might miss out on someone like Duckie. And men like that come along once in a lifetime..if you're lucky.

7) And most important…Enjoy your youth.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." --Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Thank you, John Hughes!
Regards, Mrs Love

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Happy Birthday Paris Hilton!

Dear Paris Hilton,
What a life you have! Today is your 30th birthday. How many parties are you going to have? I’m sure one won’t be enough. Today was also the release of your new iPhone app. Why do you need an iPhone app?  And you received a $375K Lexus from your boyfriend.
Your show, Paris Hilton’s BFF was so sad to me. You had to hold a competition because it’s hard for you to find a genuine, kind, devoted friend in your everyday life? Oh well, I guess if the Bachelor can find love by process of elimination, then you can find a BFF.  Oh well, that’s entertainment.
Still, I must admit, you and your friend Nicole Richie did entertain me when you were on The Simple Life. Funny show! But I hope you’re not really that ditsy.
I asked a friend what she thought of you and she answered, “She’s so manufactured.” I had no idea you’ve had plastic surgery and you hardly looked like the same girl back when you were a teenager.
You’ve said your goal is to have lots of attention and be an icon. You’ve even compared yourself to Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana. I’m sorry, my dear; you are NO Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana! After all, you are known as a narcissistic socialite and heiress. You’ve been quoted to say: “The only rule is don’t be boring & dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.”
Why don’t you think about doing some good in the world?  I had hoped that after your brief “holiday” in jail, you would have come out a different person. But I’ve yet to see that. Think about doing something that benefits others. Why not be known as Paris Hilton, the kind, generous, humanitarian and philanthropist? It sounds so much better.
Regards, Mrs Love

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Chris Farley!

Feb. 15, 2011
Dear Chris Farley,
You played so many funny characters on Saturday Night Live—a Chippendale’s dancer, one of the “Gap Girls,” the Lunch Lady, and host of The Chris Farley Show. My favorite was motivational speaker, Matt Foley.  You lived in a “van down by the river.” I could best relate to him because during the years you portrayed him, I drove a van and I don’t live too far from the Santa Ana River in Orange County.  When I loaded up my kids in our van and we’d run all around town, I would say that we also lived in a “van down by the river!”
I’m glad your humor lives on through DVD’s and the internet. You made us laugh when you were here. You left us in 1997—too soon, but I’m sure you’re up there in heaven still making people laugh.
Today would’ve been your 47th birthday and just like Matt Foley would’ve said: “Well, la dee fricken da!”
Regards, Mrs Love

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Birthday Florence Henderson!

Feb. 14, 2011
Dear Florence Henderson,
What did I learn from all those years of watching The Brady Bunch?
-Don’t play ball in the house.
-Companies used to always send families of 8 and their domestic help on all-expense paid “business” trips to Hawaii and Cincinnati theme parks that look suspiciously like Magic Mountain.
-Astroturf needs to be mowed.
-9 people can fit into a station wagon comfortably.
-When someone talks like a baby, it’s a wonder they can walk.
-Faking illness is a great way to manipulate the feelings of a professional NFL athlete and get them to visit you at your bedside.
- Full blown laryngitis can be healed over night.
-Davy Jones is always available to miraculously show up at a school dance whenever needed.
….And my favorite!
–Everyone needs an Alice!
Thank you for all those years, Carol. May I call you Carol? That doesn’t bother you, does it? I feel like I really know you. You are a wonderful, beautiful person! I’ve learned that from years and years of The Brady Bunch and last season’s “Dancing with the Stars.”
Happy 77th Birthday, Carol Brady…er, I mean Florence Henderson!
Regards, Mrs Love

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Happy Birthday Rizzo...Stockard Channing!

Dear Stockard Channing,
The first time I saw you was in 1973 in a dark made-for-TV comedy, “The Girl Most Likely To...” Then the next time was in 1978, in probably your most well-known role as Rizzo in “Grease.” Loved it!
“…But I can feel and I can cry.
A fact I'll bet you never knew.
But to cry in front of you,
That's the worse thing I could do.”
You are a wonderful actress, showing up in television, stage and film. And they even use your voice to narrate books-on-tape and shows like Meerkat Manor!  Now Stockard, may I ask you about your name? I see you changed your first name to Stockard, which was originally your surname. And I understand that Channing was the surname of the 1st of your 4 husbands. May I ask what your friends call you? Is it Stock? Stockie? Do you even have a nickname? Did you know that Stockard means “yard of tree stumps?”  I know your birth name is: Susan Antonia Williams Stockard. Talk about a long name! It must have been a killer, practicing name-writing when you were a kid. Yikes! However, I must say this--you certainly don’t look like a ‘Susan.’ I think ‘Stockard’ fits you more. You are fascinating to watch and are very unique. Therefore, your name should be unique too!
Happy 67th Birthday, Stockie!
Regards, Mrs Love

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Happy Birthday Goonies Star, Josh Brolin!

Feb. 12, 2011
Dear Josh Brolin,
Who would’ve thought a kid who starred in The Goonies would grow up to portray George W. Bush in “W”, be nominated for numerous acting awards, and be married to another former teen actor—the beautiful Diane Lane? I’m glad you’re now on a roll and appearing in some great films. Although, The Goonies was not so bad, was it now, Josh? I mean after all, the script was written by Steven Spielberg and you got to work with the future hobbit, Samwise Gamgee, Sean Astin. Plus, you got to work with unforgettable characters like “Sloth” and “Chunk.” Yes, The Goonies was an entertaining film I enjoyed watching with my kids and I’ll probably love watching it with my grandkids too!
One more thing, Josh, do you go to your stepmom’s for Sunday dinners? “My Stepmother is Barbra Streisand”…am I seeing a new reality show?
Happy 43rd Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Happy Birthday Ginger! (Tina Louise)

Feb. 11, 2011
Dear Ginger…I mean Tina Louise,
I’m sorry I can’t think of you any other way. You see, I grew up watching Gilligan’s Island. It was fun watching you and the six other castaways attempt to get of the deserted island after your “3 hour tour.” Some questions I’ve always wanted to ask you:

You had so many clothes for just a 3 hour tour…evening gowns and high heels?
If the Professor was so smart, why couldn’t he ever figure out how to make a transmitter out of that radio? How did those batteries last 3 years? And how is it that the radio announcer always gave the exact news you castaways needed to hear at the exact moment you turned on the radio? Amazing!
Didn’t the Skipper know there was a tropical storm coming? However if he had had you wouldn’t have had a sitcom, right?
Oh, I could go on and on.

And my last question…“Ginger or Mary Ann?” Well, I think it should not be one or the other. It should be a little of both. Of course, Mary Ann was a hard worker, warm and caring, and could make 65 different meals out of coconuts and bananas. While you, on the other hand, loved Hollywood, wearing fancy clothes and turning heads wherever you went. Why can’t a woman be a little of both.

I was sad to read that you have tried to distance yourself from Gilligan’s Island. I’m sorry Ginger…I mean Tina, that probably isn’t possible. You see, you were on a show that is a cult classic. I will always think of you as Ginger, but that’s not such a bad thing, is it? And did you guys ever get off that island?
Happy 77th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Happy Birthday Carole King!

Dear Carole King,
Your music has meant so much to me in my life. It helped me survive my wacky pre-teen years. Each time I played your “Tapestry” album & heard your distinctive voice, I calmed down…just a bit. I played that LP on my stereo so much, I almost wore it out. I would stare at your album cover & wish I had curly hair like yours. You seemed to be one of those cool, hip people I always tried to be like...even though I was only 11!
In high school, I was at a friend’s house and we were listening to albums like your’s and Joni Mitchell’s and Carly Simon’s. My friend put up a picture of Jesus Christ and had said, “Check this out.” Then she played “You’ve Got a Friend” as I looked at the picture. It gave the song a whole new meaning and I think of that whenever I hear it on the Oldies radio stations. (your version OR Sweet Baby James Taylor’s version!)
And growing up in southern California, whenever we have an earthquake, I sing the song: “I Feel the Earth Move under My Feet.” I can’t help it—it fits perfectly!
Thank you for your music: “My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue,
An everlasting vision of the ever changing view.”
Carole, I hope your life HAS been that rich, royal hue tapestry you sang about so long ago! Happy 69th Birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love