Mar. 3, 2011
Dear Jessica Biel,
I remember many years ago a casting agency was looking for a stand-in for you. The stand-in’s body measurements and height had to be exactly like yours. My daughter was a little shorter than you, so I didn’t submit her for the job. I remember the stand-in had to be 5’8” and 110 lbs, 36-26-36, and "all muscle." Now Jessica, somewhere down the road, as you get older, your measurements may change and you may find you’re no longer “all muscle.” When you need a middle-aged, shorter, slightly flabby stand-in, just give me a call!
And one more thing, I think you should settle down and marry Justin Timberlake. You two would have the most beautiful babies.
Happy 29th Birthday,
Your “future stand-in” Mrs Love