Sunday, May 1, 2011

Happy Birthday Real Housewife of NY--Kelly Bensimon!

May 1, 2011
Dear Real Housewife of NY--Kelly Killoren Bensimon,
What really constitutes a housewife? According to Wikipedia, a housewife is: a term used to describe a   married woman with household responsibilities who is not employed outside the home.” I’m sorry Kelly, but this doesn’t sound like you or any of your girlfriends on Real Housewives of New York!
I must admit that I was a huge fan of the show for the past three seasons. This season, however, I haven’t watched one episode. Why, you ask? Well, mostly because of how much my impression of you changed. The first impression Kelly, was that you were so cool. You seemed like such a calm, wonderful person. I loved the way you dressed, the way you talked, your jewelry, your daughters, everything! You lived in Manhattan and in the Hamptons too. How chic is that? You made me wish I had a stylish apartment in the city and a cool house in the Hamptons. I didn’t even know where the Hamptons were, but I wanted to live there because of you! However, this was all before you got on the train to “crazy town.”
In 2010 you seemed to completely lose it. You went wildly insane on the episode where the Housewives went to the Virgin Islands for a little vacation hosted by Ramona. What happened, Kelly? It looked like you had a full-on nervous breakdown on national television. You spewed nonsense and freaked out on the other Housewives.
Here are some of your most perplexing lines:
1) To Bethenny: “You live in a horror movie, I live in Disneyland. … Satchels of gold.”
2) “I’ve been having nightmares for the past week of Bethenny stabbing me. … She has knives on her tongue.”
3) About Alex: “She was marching with venom.”
4) To Ramona: “I want you to ZIP IT.”
5) To Alex: “You have so much pent-up anger and anxiety. I want you to be beautiful!”
6) To Bethenny: “I feel like you’re trying to kill me. I threw up the night before I came.”
I was surprised at how obsessed you seemed with all things Bethenny. It was actually quite scary. And even though Bethenny has left the show, I STILL don’t want to watch it. I am a bit surprised that you’re still on, Kelly. My advice to you would be to take a break. Go out to the Hamptons. Perhaps you should go and be the Wikipedia version of a housewife. You know, get married, be responsible for a home, and not work. Just a thought.
Hope you got some “satchels of gold” today, on your 43th birthday!
Regards, Mrs Love

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