Happy Birthday Fabio!

Dear Fabio,

You were born Fabio Lanzoni in Milan, Italy, although you don’t use your last name anymore. You said once in an interview that you just have “Fabio” on your credit cards. You’ve been called one of the most handsome men in the world and you’re known as the godfather of romance! I know you don’t take your 15 minutes of fame too seriously and you seem to enjoy laughing at yourself. I love how you just show up in films in a small cameo role…Zoolander, Dude Where’s My Car, Death Becomes Her, etc. You’ve also used your popularity to raise money for charity. I admire that.

I remember seeing your likeness donning the covers of hundreds of romance novels during the 1980’s and 1990’s. A friend told me that a person can judge the sexual content of romance novels by how much skin is showing on the cover. Well, your novels always showed LOTS of skin, Fabio. I’m sure that’s why they’ve sold so well!

Years later you showed up “in person” in the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” commercials and I was a bit surprised to see you recently in Toyota commercials. I’m sure you helped sell millions for that “liquid-soybean-oil-non-hydrogenated-liquid-canola-oil-spread” aka “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”…so I’m sure you’ll help sell lots of Toyotas too. You said once the “secret” to endorsing that butter-substitute product, was that the name contains a double negative and that’s what sells it. You said it should be called “I Believe It’s Butter.” Haha!  Good one, Fabio!

Many years ago, I took my son to Los Angeles to shop at an art supply store. We drove down Sunset Blvd, keeping our eyes opened for celebrities and who did we see? We saw you! You were filming something right there on the sidewalk! I was thrilled to say I had seen you, but my son was a bit disappointed. I think he thought we’d see Angelina Jolie or Halle Barry. Oh well, perhaps next time!

Now Fabio, I’ve heard you are very accessible to your fans. It is very well known that a fan can stop you anytime, anywhere and you will sign autographs and take as many pictures as they like…always with a pleasant attitude. You retain fans that way, Fabio, which is why you have such a loyal following. If I ever see you again, I’ll remember that and stop and get a pic! However, Fabio, I must admit, you’re not really my type. It bothers me that you are way more beautiful than I am and you have better cleavage too. Plus you have the longest hair of any 52 year old I know!

Happy Birthday!

Regards, Mrs Love