Happy Birthday Clint Eastwood!

5/31/11

Dear Clint,

I know I’m a little behind on my birthday wish to you, but I still want to wish you a Happy 81^st Birthday anyway.  I have admired your work for a long, long time. You are such a talented man-- actor, director, producer, music composer, and even politician!  Before you were “A Man With No Name,” Sylvester “Pardner” Newell, “Dirty” Harry Callahan, Prisoner Frank Morris,  Secret Service Agent Frank Horrigan, or boxing trainer Frankie Dunn, or Carmel California Mayor--you were just Clinton Eastwood Jr. of Piedmont, California. You were the son of a steel-worker and migrant worker and were nicknamed “Samson” when you were born because you weighed a whopping 11lbs.6oz! That must be some kind of record!

It’s amazing that a guy whose trademark is his squint and the way he hisses his lines through his teeth, would now be worth $400 million. Not too shabby, my friend.  May I call you my friend?  If you are my friend, got a million to spare?

Now, Clint my friend, I must tell you my favorite of your films was “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.” Loved the poncho!  In fact, now that I think of it, I want one!  I think it’s time to make a trip to Olvera Street!   No, actually, my favorite was “Paint Your Wagon” because you sang in it.  No, my favorite was, “Dirty Harry.” Ok, all the Dirty Harry films. You did such an awesome job.  I guess I could go on and on.  But don’t let me forget “Escape From Alcatraz” or “The Bridges of Madison County.”  Alright, I’ll stop now.

Clint, there is one thing I know about you that disappoints me.  You’ve been known as a “serial womanizer.”  You’ve fathered at least 7 children by 5 different women.  And actress Sondra Locke, who you lived with for 14 years, has nothing nice to say about you. In fact, she’s written a whole book about you:  “The Good, The Bad and the Very Ugly.”

Well, who am I to judge?  I only know what I read on the Internet.  And as you know, Clint, everything on the Internet is fact, right?  You said once: “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”  I completely agree, my friend.  However, now that you ARE married, I hope you’ve learned to be faithful.

I  love what you said about your mother, who died at age 97: “She had no fear and I think as you get older -- you probably have more fear as a younger person than you do as an older person. Because as an older person you have stacked up a lot of background and time-in-grade, so to speak, so you are probably thinking what the hell, I have had a good time!”

I’ll bet you’ve had a good time, my friend.  I’m sure on Tues. you had a wonderful time celebrating your 81st birthday with family and friends.  Perhaps the 7 children by 5 different women were there too.  Perhaps you wore your poncho.  Perhaps when you blew out the 81 candles, you said, “Go ahead! Make my day!”

Regards, Mrs Love