Happy Birthday Michael Learned!

Apr. 9, 2011

Dear Michael Learned,

Your name is really Michael Learned? Your father named you Michael because he wanted a boy so badly. He had already picked out the name and even though you obviously were a girl, you were stuck with the already-chosen name. That’s quite amusing.

I knew you as “Olivia Walton” during the 70’s when my family and I would gather around the TV and watch you on “The Waltons.” My favorite thing about the show—your large kitchen table that you and your 20 kids would sit around. (how many did you have anyway? I lost count!) My least favorite thing about the show—John Boy’s mole. Did it bother you too? I thought it was kind of distracting. Perhaps he considered it a beauty mark like Cindy Crawford’s or Marilyn Monroe’s.

Now let’s get back to your name, Mike. May I call you Mike? Is that what your friends call you? Well, Mike, I don’t know if you noticed, but your name is actually similar to my husband’s. Both your names are part of a phrase. Example: “‘Michael Learned’ to play the guitar.” And my husband’s name: “I ‘Will Love’ you forever.” Oh well, Mike, it could be worse. Your name could’ve been Hank E. Pankie!

Wishing you a very Happy 72^nd Birthday, Mike!

Good night, John Boy.
Good night, Elizabeth.

Good night, Daddy.
Good night, Mary Ellen.
Good night, Mama.
Good night, Jim Bob.
Good night, Erin.
Good night, Ben.
Good night, Mama.

Good night, Mike!

Regards, Mrs Love